There is a need in our world, for orphans to be cared for. It is not a complicated need, people need to adopt children who do not have parents. The act of taking in a child is human and crucial to having a peaceful world, however, the mechanics are very complicated and many adoptive parents lose sight of that.
This week the Ethiopian Government (specifically their Ministry of Women’s Affairs) announced it would be limiting the number of court cases it took per day to 5. The previous limit has been reported as between 30-50, however that is the limit, not the actual number they were hitting mathematically based on the number of children adopted over the last few years. This article from Voice of America has caused mass hysteria across the adoption blogosphere. The article raises speculation about corruption and has led to theories about interference by UNICEF to influence Ethiopia into discontinuing intercountry adoption.
There are a number of issues raised by adoptive parents that I believe need to be addressed in order to pursue long term relationships with America and international communities to foster ethical adoptions, avoid hostility by adoptive children when they are adults, to avoid resentment by countries adopted from towards Americans, and to not interfere with the relationships of cross-cultural workers from America in countries being adopted from.
First, a number of petitions have cropped up by agencies and most notably from JCICS, a coalition of adoptive agencies. The danger of these petitions is for Ethiopia to feel threatened or belittled, creating hostile relationships between the U.S. State Department, American agencies, and in country officials. While a petition might influence a temporary reversal of the decision to slow adoptions, it can insult Ethiopia and lead to closure, which has happened in the past with other countries. As a friend put it, “with Guatemala, Russia, Romania, and the Rep. of Georgia, petitions by Americans do much more harm than good. Imagine you were a sovereign government receiving a note like that, from people implying they know better than you do.” This is hasty for adoptive parents late in the process because it does not take into account the impact it will have long term on adoptions from the country, potentially putting far more children at risk, as well as international relations.
My biggest fear in all this is seeing American paternalism and ethnocentrism crop up on blogs and message boards. I’ve known its been there, but I saw a blog that horrified me the other day as it prescribed to pray God would do exactly as they saw fit and what Ethiopia should do, as if Americans have sovereign authority over both. I fear for our adopted children to grow up as a generation “saved” from Ethiopia. I hope my child will never read people who write about “rescuing orphans”, because they are a child God has ordained for us to raise, not as saviors, but as orphans ourselves, adopted by God, as Ephesians 1 says.
More broadly, I also fear our image abroad, especially with so many Christians adopting. I am concerned by the petitions being started because they serve only as populist anger not advocated by either country’s officials. As such, its creates hostility towards Americans for interfering. What happens for our children if they want to return to their country as Americans and we have created hostility? We want to raise well-adjusted children who will be embraced here and if they return to their country when they are adults, will be embraced as Americans. Imagine if we could more verbally say to Ethiopia, “if you are truly seeking more ethical adoptions, how can we do that with you and streamline the process?” Rather than create a hysterical uproar built on valid emotions, but not acted in wisdom.
Of course there are emotions rapped up in adopting. It is gut-wrenching and almost no one gets through unscathed. Peoples referrals are delayed indefinitely, children can become sick or even die in orphanages, and the process is bureaucratic and murky at best. But I really believe people need to take a deep breath and think about their actions so we do not create an American God complex, so we can help ethical adoptions happen over generations, not just in this season, and so we do not complicate the work of cross-cultural workers who have a tough enough time trying to build relationships with those different from them, without the burden of American citizens projecting an ugly stereotype.
austin pfeiffer 