Shake It Out

Raising A Glass To Summer

I saw some tough curve balls in the last year.  My abroad program in Germany was cut because of funding, later I lost my job, and my church looked increasingly like a non-committal boyfriend.  A year ago I thought this summer would have me as a bi-vocational pastor, who’d studied in Germany, and ran a local business.  Alas, you cannot control the plaintiff when the ordination call never happens, the money falls through, and well, poor planning couldn’t pay for you anymore.  I felt a bit rejected this year.  I believe in the sovereign power of God, but that is not fatalism.  People can still screw things up and stain God’s plan.  When things work out on the other side, its all to God’s glory, but he steers us through life as much as he cleans up our’s (and other’s) messes.

The month of May 2012 has been a good one, one of the best.  Erin will tell you I have no shortage of hairpin turns in my life.  Revelations and renewals chase me down with the poise of a wild horse.  Those moments usually look something more like me yelling out a window, with a prophetic fist swinging at society, like Peter Finch in Network.  In a departure from my usual calculation, speculation, inquisition, I am going to write something unabashedly optimistic, cloying, and saccharine.

I’ve been having something of an Ugly Betty coming of age, a dejected post-teen rising into adulthood.  I picture myself driving a Jeep Wrangler with the top down, pumping my fist to Florence + the Machine’s, “Shake It Out.”  I’m proud to belt these lyrics from my figurative Jeep,

And I’ve been fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
‘Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn

Sing it Florence! (If that’s even your name?)  So what of cafes and Germany and Presbypiscopal ordination?  I am a dad and a graduate and a writer.  I am going to spend this summer singing to my son, harvesting our garden, reading new books, checking in with old ones, writing, discussing Bonhoeffer on our porch with good food and friends.  Sometimes I get so hot and bothered by dysfunction that I forget how irrelevant it can be.  None of the past year changes my life now, so I ought to rise out of it with some pride and joy.  Yeah, “we could have had it all“, but like a British female pop-star, I am going to take these lemons and make an epic ballad album out of this summer!

Silas: The Story Continues

So Silas is rolling onward in life, day 4 is almost in the books, here are some thoughts on the past days.  Things are going pretty well.  The second morning in the hospital, Saturday the 12th, we had our first man-time.  We had a stroll through the 3rd floor of Forsyth, I sipped on coffee…he slept, the whole time.  I daydreamed about future man-time, where I will explain to him the importance of a man having a dog (as he and I do in Piper) and why fire is awesome.  Later in the day we saw our friends Chris and Sheri, whose son Jude was born on May 9th.  Sheri leaned over to her son, hinting his eyeline toward Silas, and with impressive wit given the likely lack of sleep she quipped, “This is one of the only people in the world you are older than.”

My other favorite comment came from my sophomore roommate at CU, Jayson.  Jayson was a frosh when we were randomly placed together in the Smith Hall.  In one of his first days at college, he comfortably slept through the night.  He settled right into the college experience, but his sophomore roommate was less adjusted.  I stirred him from his slumber in the middle of the night, convinced an intruder had snuck in our second floor balcony door, passed our beds and subsequently posted up in my closet.  I whispered, “Jayson, JAYSON, get your hockey stick, someone is in my closet.”  He inquired a few times, “really?” and as he started to really listen to me, I realized how absurb my irrational fear was and just whispered back, “nevermind.”  He commented on a picture I posted, “Congrats ole roomy! Hopefully you’ll handle the monsters in His closet better than that one in ours! Have fun!”

If you are curious, you can read about the Silas we named him after in Acts of the Apostles 15, 17, & 18.  We pray our son would be a rebellious troublemaker for the Gospel:

[4] And some of them were persuaded and joined Paul and Silas, as did a great many of the devout Greeks and not a few of the leading women. [5] But the Jews were jealous, and taking some wicked men of the rabble, they formed a mob, set the city in an uproar, and attacked the house of Jason, seeking to bring them out to the crowd. [6] And when they could not find them, they dragged Jason and some of the brothers before the city authorities, shouting, “These men who have turned the world upside down have come here also, [7] and Jason has received them, and they are all acting against the decrees of Caesar, saying that there is another king, Jesus.”

(Acts 17:4-7 ESV)

You can read about Silas’ middlename-sake, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, here.  The picture above is a photo of Dietrich Bonhoeffer in my office, watching over Silas.

Some have asked about the hymn “All Things Bright and Beautiful” that we listened to after the delivery.  Here is a link to the version we listened to, by Sleeping At Last.